So hello from England everyone,
I said I'd write a blog explaining why I was back and also reflecting on my time in India and what it has taught me. So here goes...
I think if I put why I cam back into one reason then it's simply that is was time. Two months is no joke, it's a long time and in that time I felt I had learnt enough to be satisfied with myself. You see India for me was not only physically challenging but it was mentally challenging too. People there have completely different mindsets to me and I had to deal with that daily as well as functioning in a foreign language that was a second language to the people around me. I got to a point quite literallt where I was just physically and mentally drained, I had nothing more to give and I wanted to go home.
What about Lucknow you ask, well Lucknow never happened, it might one day but not this time. I wondered whether I would regret that decision but when I got to Delhi airport I knew that there was no way I could have faced heading on to Lucknow. I needed home.
None of this is to say that I have something against India but it isn't my country and it isn't somewhere that I personally would want to live. You have to bear in mind that I didn't see the colourful touristy India and I didn't see the slums, I saw the in between, everyday life of Indians. I didn't go there to sightsee, I went there to study and that's what I did. My experience had ups and downs and the truth is, I'll probably remember them all.
So no, no major disaster or event happened that made me come home. I had just had enough of being away from everything and everyone I know and love, and I wanted to come home. It really is that simple.
Now let's look at what India has taught me and what I've gained from the experience. I honestly do feel that in two months I've lived a lifetime. I've seen and learnt so much it's unreal. I went to India to study dance but I never thought about everything else, that being everyday life in India and everyday life in India was not something I enjoyed.
But what I learnt will stay with me for a lifetime. I learnt first and foremost that I'm English and love being so which through years of battling with an identity crisis is an amazing thing for me to have realised. Secondly, I have developed the most profound love and respect for my dance forms, they're now a part of me just as much as my breathing is.
The most important thing Aunty taught me was how to learn. I know now how to approach a new item to make sure I don't ever forget it. She taught me an approach to learning that is the most valuable thing I'll take away from India. It means I can benefit so much more from my time there.
Something that I think made my experience in India all the more special was that I lived in a dance world, Everyone I was with lived and breathed dance and therefore so did I. I saw more dance shows in two months than I've seen in my entire life, I've learnt what it takes to be a professional dancer and how much more it takes to become a professional performer. I've seen the real India, not the tourist India, not the slums, but the India people live every single day. I've seen the streets they see every morning, used the shops they use everyday and eaten the food they eat everyday.
And of course I can't write about India without writing about languages. India meant that I was forced to use and speak Hindi a lot of the time, since I didn't speak Bangla. Having spent two months in India I can now say that I can switch into Hindi easily, I'm not fluent by any stretch of the imagination but I can understand most things that are said, in other words I can function in everyday life in Hindi. I can also understand a lot of Bangla now, and speak some, I can recognise it instantly amongst other Indian languages and I'm very pleased about that. The other language I had exposure to was Malayalam, I heard Malayalam spoken everyday and I watched Malayalam TV daily. Although I didn't pick any up, I can now easily recognise Malayalam from all other South Indian languages if I hear it spoken or see it written. So linguistically India has been brilliant.
I can say with utmost confidence that I don't regret I single day in India. It was taught me so much about myself, about the world and about dance. Whether I would do it all again I can't say but I'm so happy I've done it and yes, yes I am actually very proud of myself.
I could probably keep writing about this for days but I shan't and this is now "Bharat Calling" signing off, this blog will remain as a memory of everything I've done and I'm so pleased I have it as that.
I said I'd write a blog explaining why I was back and also reflecting on my time in India and what it has taught me. So here goes...
I think if I put why I cam back into one reason then it's simply that is was time. Two months is no joke, it's a long time and in that time I felt I had learnt enough to be satisfied with myself. You see India for me was not only physically challenging but it was mentally challenging too. People there have completely different mindsets to me and I had to deal with that daily as well as functioning in a foreign language that was a second language to the people around me. I got to a point quite literallt where I was just physically and mentally drained, I had nothing more to give and I wanted to go home.
What about Lucknow you ask, well Lucknow never happened, it might one day but not this time. I wondered whether I would regret that decision but when I got to Delhi airport I knew that there was no way I could have faced heading on to Lucknow. I needed home.
None of this is to say that I have something against India but it isn't my country and it isn't somewhere that I personally would want to live. You have to bear in mind that I didn't see the colourful touristy India and I didn't see the slums, I saw the in between, everyday life of Indians. I didn't go there to sightsee, I went there to study and that's what I did. My experience had ups and downs and the truth is, I'll probably remember them all.
So no, no major disaster or event happened that made me come home. I had just had enough of being away from everything and everyone I know and love, and I wanted to come home. It really is that simple.
Now let's look at what India has taught me and what I've gained from the experience. I honestly do feel that in two months I've lived a lifetime. I've seen and learnt so much it's unreal. I went to India to study dance but I never thought about everything else, that being everyday life in India and everyday life in India was not something I enjoyed.
But what I learnt will stay with me for a lifetime. I learnt first and foremost that I'm English and love being so which through years of battling with an identity crisis is an amazing thing for me to have realised. Secondly, I have developed the most profound love and respect for my dance forms, they're now a part of me just as much as my breathing is.
The most important thing Aunty taught me was how to learn. I know now how to approach a new item to make sure I don't ever forget it. She taught me an approach to learning that is the most valuable thing I'll take away from India. It means I can benefit so much more from my time there.
Something that I think made my experience in India all the more special was that I lived in a dance world, Everyone I was with lived and breathed dance and therefore so did I. I saw more dance shows in two months than I've seen in my entire life, I've learnt what it takes to be a professional dancer and how much more it takes to become a professional performer. I've seen the real India, not the tourist India, not the slums, but the India people live every single day. I've seen the streets they see every morning, used the shops they use everyday and eaten the food they eat everyday.
And of course I can't write about India without writing about languages. India meant that I was forced to use and speak Hindi a lot of the time, since I didn't speak Bangla. Having spent two months in India I can now say that I can switch into Hindi easily, I'm not fluent by any stretch of the imagination but I can understand most things that are said, in other words I can function in everyday life in Hindi. I can also understand a lot of Bangla now, and speak some, I can recognise it instantly amongst other Indian languages and I'm very pleased about that. The other language I had exposure to was Malayalam, I heard Malayalam spoken everyday and I watched Malayalam TV daily. Although I didn't pick any up, I can now easily recognise Malayalam from all other South Indian languages if I hear it spoken or see it written. So linguistically India has been brilliant.
I can say with utmost confidence that I don't regret I single day in India. It was taught me so much about myself, about the world and about dance. Whether I would do it all again I can't say but I'm so happy I've done it and yes, yes I am actually very proud of myself.
I could probably keep writing about this for days but I shan't and this is now "Bharat Calling" signing off, this blog will remain as a memory of everything I've done and I'm so pleased I have it as that.
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